Being Present in the Present

.....well then if that isn't a loaded title.

I'm currently attending a women's' bible study at my church and we are going through the study Missing Pieces by Jennifer Rothschild, a study for when life doesn't make sense.....haha (how often does it truly make sense?) 
A great study but challenging.  
Although challenging I feel is kind of the point of a study.... this one for me is spot on.

Here is the summary:
"Does God care? Is He fair? Is He even there? Although you may know all the right answers, they don't always feel right. Explore these and other questions in this realistic look at the messy, mysterious uncertainties of faith. God's ways don't always make sense, but He is trustworthy. Come close to Him. Trust Him more than your feelings. God will reveal Himself and fill in your missing pieces."

 WOW was all I could say when I read that and sign me up.

I think we all have "seasons" (I like to think of our difficulties like this because with the changing seasons in nature there is always something to look forward to, growth, purity, vibrancy)  some are awesome and everything seems to be going according to our "plan," others though are more like an ice storm in the winter, you just can't seem to find a place to settle in and it is challenging to continue on.

When we make plans we are constantly thinking ahead, the next thing, the next change, the next step. In all this planning and mapping out of our future we can sometimes forget to exist in the present, right now. 

"the best way to prepare for what's ahead is to be present in what is now."

My first thought about this is, "well I don't really do that, I like to have a plan and I am at my best when the plan I have made for myself is coming together."

I truly do feel at my best and most in control when my plans are working out....well in the last year I have been faced with, well let's call it a roadblock, and my plans have not continued on the path I had planned.

How does that make me feel? Well I don't know how that would make you feel but I feel upset at God, disheartened and quite frankly at times hopeless.

I recently asked a friend if she thought it was ok to occasionally argue with God and question Him. Her response was, "absolutely, while you may be struggling by arguing/questioning God you are still acknowledging He is there and He is in control." 
I have to say that made me feel better.... I mean I get it, God has my life all mapped out but then again I don't get it, why me and why this season now?

I think it is ok to be upset at God and wonder what He can possibly have in store for you and where this whole season will lead to.....I would hope Spring myself......but we literally can not know His plan for us. This is where I struggle a bit, I just want to know how it is all going to turn out. I only want happy endings.

The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law. Deuteronomy 29:29

This foolish plan of God is wiser than the wisest of human plans, and God’s weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strength. 1 Corinthians 1:25
This one makes me laugh because I sometimes....ok many times...think that in a rough season this is a foolish plan.

No, the wisdom we speak of is the mystery of God—his plan that was previously hidden, even though he made it for our ultimate glory before the world began. 1 Corinthians 2:7

God has now revealed to us his mysterious plan regarding Christ, a plan to fulfill his own good pleasure. Ephesians 1:9

And this is the plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ—everything in heaven and on earth. Ephesians 1:10

 

Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan.  Ephesians 1:11

 

So does this make those difficult seasons easy, absolutely not!

Does it make those difficult seasons easier, ABSOLUTELY!

 

This might not make the season go away or easy but it certainly brings a bit of peace and confidence in a plan, the plan that is greater than the one we have for ourselves.

 

So in my season while I have good days and I have bad days and sad days and happy days I also need to constantly remind myself that the ULTIMATE plan is better than my own and will be used for the glory of the one who created me just the way I am.